The questions we always get from others, “aaaaaw, are they twins?”, “Was it planned”, “How do you even do it?” In as much as people have the freedom of speech and can have the leverage of saying whatever comes to their mind, it is not always well meaning and does not feel genuine or supportive. Do I want to continue answering those questions, no I don’t. However, knowing me, I always feel the need to explain myself and my choices even when it is honestly unnecessary. Let’s get to the real stuff, the stuff that I want to really talk about…
Navigating the 2 under 2s journey as parents, has been one of the biggest challenges in our lives and our marriage. It seemed insurmountable and felt like it was just not going to end. The sleepless nights, the diaper changes, the regular bottle feeds, the exhaustion, and endless tormenting cries... Everything came in 2s, the list is endless. And yet at the same time, we have never felt so much purpose, love, joy, and so fulfilled by our roles as parents. As a mother, I have never felt so much love for 2 little humans that miraculously came out of my precious womb. Feeling as powerful, able and victorious as an individual, as a couple and as parents. Witnessing our boys’ growth in all forms and stages has brought nothing but a feeling only our hearts can describe.
When we had our first boy Amari, we eased into parenthood despite feelings of inadequacy as first-time parents, simply because he was an easy-going baby. That allowed us to adjust and adapt well into our role as parents. Just as we were easing into our new normal as parents, we then found out that we were pregnant with our second boy. A rollercoaster of emotions flooded in; all I could think of is ‘Oh Jehovah!’ in utter disbelief. I wondered how I was going to manage the pregnancy whilst taking care of our infant at the time. As well as, how we were going to manage 2 under 2s, because yes, we wanted our boy to have a sibling, but it came too soon, well expectedly and unexpectedly so. I kept being reminded by His word that Jehovah God is the only one who will guide us and bless us in our new role once again, He has never forsaken us and why would He start now. It has never happened in any of our family members from either side and yet He chose us to be the first to enter into this role of 2 under 2s with so much grace and gratitude.
Do I want to answer those questions now? Yes, I do. Yes, they are our Irish twins, yes, it was planned by our heavenly father, and we are doing it through Him!
One of my mom’s favourite phrases; “no situation is permanent”. It is true, we have now passed the 2 under 2s stage and heading over to 3-year-old and 4-year-old in a few of months. I look at them with so much awe and gratitude. I am so grateful it happened the way it did, because seeing them grow together as siblings, doing almost everything together means everything to me. The milestones they have shared and continue to share are endless, from bottle-feeding, pacifiers, diaper changes to potty-training, bath time, play time, mealtime, nap time, sleeping together, immunization visits, play dates, and so much more. When the one is napping while the other is awake, feelings of boredom and not knowing what to do to the point of wanting to wake the other up. The added benefits for us are that we got the same gender, which means passing down some clothes which makes it even more special and less costly.
If you are contemplating on having 2 under 2s, or already way on your way. I hope you can already tell that there are definitely more benefits than challenges. Oh, but I do have to add that the fights are not cute at all, literally fighting for attention, toys and equal benefits if not more. Basically, ‘what you do to the right, you do to the left’. Whether it’s buying of toys, I remember us buying 2 airplanes of 2 different colours. They would fight for the same colour. Now I understand why twin parents dress their twins with the same colour clothes because WOW! Well, atleast for now they have not fought over the same colour clothing as yet. In as much as they fight, they look out for each other in every way possible. Whether it’s making sure that we as parents or other kids back off for whatever reason, I know for sure that they have each other’s backs!
Having a hands on, supportive husband has made this experience even more enjoyable, doable and victorious! In as much as we have family in town, we don't have the leverage of them taking on the role of actively raising our boys with us, so our nanny/helper has been a great help when we are at work ofcourse. Our village supports us in ways that they are able to when we have emergencies or when life happens. Having a community, a supportive village in any way possible helps a great deal.
I have said a mouthful, hopefully this gave you a glimpse of our journey raising 2 under 2s. Whether this enlightens you, inspires you or gives you hope. May it encourage you to support other parents in any form or encourage you to keep going and try and savour each and every moment in your journey of 2 under 2s because as cliche as it may sound, they grow up way too fast despite feeling like you are in it forever.
You can still ROCK it, even when you are ROCKED!
With Love
Your OT Boy Mama
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